Many couples reach a point in their relationship when moving in together becomes part of the conversation. Some couples prefer waking up next to each other; others reach a point where it’s more practical to just share a space. No matter what the reason is for the decision, there’s no denying that moving in with your partner is a life-changing step.
How soon is too soon to move in with your partner?
Should you move in with your partner after three months of dating? Or is it best to wait a year?
There’s much to consider when deciding when to move in together since much will change. One thing is certain: you don’t want to end up in a situation where you exerted effort and invested money in finding a place together, only to realize that it wasn’t the best decision or you might’ve moved things too quickly.
So here’s everything you need to know about moving in with your partner: how soon is too soon to move in together? Is it a good idea to even move in together?
How Long Should You Wait Before Moving in Together?
We recommend waiting a year after you start dating before you decide to move in together. For the smoothest transition to another life stage, it pays to know what you’re exactly getting into. A year of dating can already reveal the best and the worst in your partner, which are important considerations when it comes to moving in together.
Couples who don’t agree on a lot of things might find it difficult to live together, whereas those who are already familiar with their partner’s mindset and can easily adjust to their quirks will find moving in together a smooth transition.
If you want to be sure, wait two years after you first start dating. This offers more time to get to know your partner. Remember: just because they say “I love you,” it doesn’t mean you guys are ready to move in together
What You Need to Know About Your Partner Before Living Together
The better you know your partner, the more likely you’ll be ready to live with them. Here are some key aspects that you should know about them.
- How temperamental is your partner? Moving in with someone who is often angry or irritated can be stressful, especially if you didn’t expect them to act this way.
- How does your partner keep their room clean? This gives you a good picture of how clean they will be in your home.
- Before you move in together, analyze your partner’s response to adversity What happens if you don’t agree with them often? Can they compromise or will they always storm out?
- Financial responsibility. Living together isn’t a short vacation; it’s a long-term investment that requires funds. How does your partner plan on paying the bills and buying your groceries?
- Does your partner like pets? If so, how do they raise their furbabies? Make sure that you and your partner are aligned when it comes to raising your pets.
- Who’s going to do which chores? Consider whether your partner is working frequently or in school, but make sure that both of you are doing an equal share of the housework.
How Soon is Too Soon to Move in Together?
But what if time isn’t the factor that defines the maturity of your relationship?
In general, a couple’s relationship has less to do with the time length and more to do with the number of milestones they’ve achieved together. However, not all milestones decide the maturity of two people. Also, haphazardly jumping into a decision might lead to intense fights.
Instead of breaking up in the end, it pays to know the red flags that indicate it might be too soon to move in together.
You’re in a New Relationship
When you start dating someone new, it’s natural to put them on a pedestal. During the honeymoon stage, your partner can do no wrong and everything seems perfect. But as the days progress into months, you’ll notice that they aren’t as perfect as you thought them to be. Eventually, they’ll become less spectacular and more human.
The transition from the honeymoon phase to real life isn’t that bad, but it can be jarring. It’s better to experience this transition first before you move in together. You must see each other for who you really are.
You’re Dealing with Many Life Transitions
Grieving a loss, changing careers or starting school all represents significant transitions in your life. These life changes (even the positive ones) can be stressful for an individual or a relationship. With this in mind, it probably isn’t the best idea to move in together when you’re dealing with so much change. Moving in is a change also so adding it on top of your transitions might increase your stress levels.
You’re Only Moving in Together to Save Money
Mortgage payments or rent can be expensive, so it makes sense that you’d want to save more money by cutting down costs. But if this is your primary motivation for moving in together, think about this decision again.
Money shouldn’t be the reason for this decision. It can be a factor, but it might also compromise your relationship. If you really want to save up and still maintain your relationship, why not live together with a friend first?
You Feel Pressured
Moving in with your partner should be a decision you make because you want to, not because your partner insists or everyone else is doing it. If you proceed with moving in together even if you aren’t 100 percent for it, you might resent your partner along the way.
Is Moving in Together Before Marriage a Good Idea?
One of the benefits of living together before getting married is the opportunity to learn how you and your partner would navigate life together, minus the expectations that come with marriage. During this time, you can learn more about each other, reinforce your relationship, navigate stressors together and strengthen your ability to solve problems together.
The downside of living together before marriage is some couples feel less content with their arrangement.
Moving in with your partner is a huge step in your relationship. With this in mind, it pays to know if both of you are ready for it so you can enjoy another milestone instead of stressing over it.